World Mental Health Day: Helping yourself get better

We are all aware of mental illness, more so than we have ever been. We are all aware that we should go to our doctor, get a diagnosis, and go to counselling and/or take medication. That said, maybe we have not gathered the motivation to get professional help. Or maybe we are waiting for our doctor's appointment, or our counselling session, or for our meds to work. This might just be a couple of days or a few weeks, but if you are dealing with a mental illness, every day feels like a struggle. I have made a list of things that you can do in your everyday life to try and make it more bearable. I know that most of them are far more easily said than done, but I think it is worth having them in mind anyway. 

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and I will admit that my knowledge of the spectrum of mental illnesses is limited, what with the various types of illness and many ways that they can manifest themselves. I don't want to seem patronising or like I am oversimplifying things - this is just genuine, from-the-heart advice that I hope might help at least one person.

1) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - Get out of bed before noon. Go to bed before morning. Brush your teeth twice a day. Shower. Eat - start with a large meal once a day if you're really struggling, then build it up to twice, and then three times; you might find it easier to avoid meals and graze all day instead, this is okay too. Keep food in your room for those days where you can't face going to the kitchen. Take a multivitamin and drink plenty of water (keep a large bottle by your bed). You will feel so much better if you do all of this. But don't be disheartened if you struggle - if you've left it a while and your gums bleed when you try to brush your teeth, if haven't eaten in a while (or you've eaten too much) and your clothes don't fit right- just keep going and try to be good to yourself every day. Your body will get stronger as you do.

2) DO NOT RELY ON ESCAPISM - I'm not talking about movies or music or books, which make you feel more. I mean things that you use to numb you. This could be drugs, it could be alcohol, but it could even be sleep. Sometimes it feels easier to sleep your days away than to live in reality. But if you're not experiencing reality, with all of the pain it's bringing you right now, you can't experience any of the good either. Whatever you're numbing yourself with, stop, because it is absolutely crucial right now that you feel as much as you can.

3) STRIVE FOR YOUR GOALS - Having something to work towards can give your life meaning and clarity. Doing something small every day (like doing a couple of those pages of reading that you were assigned that could help you for your assignment in two months, or doing half an hour of exercise to ease yourself into an exercise routine) will make you feel so much more productive and reaching your goals will do so much for your self esteem in the long run.

4) BUT DON'T PUT TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF - As many days as possible, it would be great if you could do one little thing that contribute towards your goals. But if you can't, that's okay. Some days you just need to focus on step one; brushing your teeth, taking a shower, and getting through your day.

5) STOP YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS IN THEIR TRACKS - This is far better explained by a CBT counsellor, but if you keep trying to practice this, it will eventually override your instinct to criticise. Example: if you catch yourself thinking you hate your stomach, think instead about how you like your legs. If you catch yourself thinking about how your friend hasn't text back so they don't care about you, think about how they messaged out of the blue a couple of weeks ago. Positive thinking can be so powerful.

6) KEEP MAKING PLANS - This could of course, go hand in hand with number three in that it can refer to long term goals, but generally I just mean this on a smaller scale. A lunch date that will get you through to tomorrow, a club night to get you through to next weekend, a concert to get you through to next month, a holiday to get you through to next summer. Try to always have something to look forward to.

7) UNFOLLOW SOCIAL MEDIA THAT MAKES YOU FEEL INADEQUATE - Remove anything that makes you feel bad about how you look, what you earn, your abilities or any aspect of your life. This can just be temporary - it is good to admire and be inspired by others, but right now you need to focus on admiring yourself. You can always refollow when you are in a better space.

8) REMOVE NEGATIVE PEOPLE - Friendships are about quality, not quantity. One good friend or family member (or if you don't even feel you have that, a counselor) is all you need. Don't forget to appreciate every person who supports you, but remember that anyone who promotes negativity or puts you down in any way is not injecting enough good into your life to justify keeping them in it.

9)  EXPRESS YOURSELF CREATIVELY - This could be through drawing, painting, writing, any art form. Remember that nobody has to see the finished product if you don't wish to show anyone - it is purely therapeutic and to help you channel your emotions. This is especially good for people who struggle to verbally speak about their feelings.

10) IGNORE WHAT PEOPLE THINK - If you like something or it makes you happy, do it and do not let people shame you into having less enthusiasm for something. Don't waste energy trying to impress people. Right now, you need to focus on being happy and your reputation or how you look to other people is just one more unnecessary thing to worry about. Live for you.

11)  STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS - There will always be someone who is better at you than something, but that's just part of us all being unique. I can guarantee that you are better at something than them also. Someone else may have good qualities and value, but you have equally good qualities and value. Know your worth.

12)  KEEP YOURSELF BUSY - Spend as little time alone with your thoughts as possible. It's too easy to think yourself into a black hole. Ideally do something like reading or exercising or a new hobby that you've taken up, but if not, listen to music or watch some TV. Anything that keeps you invested and stops your mind from wandering. 

13) HELP OTHERS WHERE YOU CAN - This is beneficial for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because every good deed that you do will help you to feel better about yourself. Secondly, because emotionally supporting others can encourage you to take your own advice.

14) CONSISTENTLY REMIND YOURSELF OF ALL THE GOOD THINGS - Good things in your life (e.g your family, your favourite sitcom), good thing about the world (e.g sunsets, puppies), good things about yourself (e.g your eyes, your generosity). Buy yourself a nice notebook or keep a note on your phone and write them down. Look at it and add to it whenever you need to.

15) LOVE YOURSELF - It's not cocky or arrogant to love yourself; arrogance means thinking that you're better than everyone else. Despite what society tells you and what YA novels suggest, it is okay to think you're amazing and there is nothing beautiful, humble or romantic about mental illness. It's okay to go through it, but the stronger you that is coming out of it is ultimately happier and more beautiful and it is good to acknowledge your own strength and beauty.

16) TELL SOMEONE - I saved this for last because it is the most important, and not just in terms of seeking medical help. To clarify, there is no need to tell everyone, nor should you feel obligated to post anything about it on social media if you don't want to. But when you're feeling really down, it's easy to feel like nobody cares. In reality, of course they care, but they're not aware of it. They have no idea what's going on inside your head and it's not due to lack of consideration so much as the fact they do just have their own life and their own problems and humans intrinsically (and rightfully) have an instinct to self-prioritise. However, once you tell them how you're feeling, you'll realise how much people really do care about you. 

So there's the list of things that  I hope will help you. I just want to take this opportunity to also say that whoever you are, and whatever our history (or lack thereof) if you are suffering from mental health issues and either feel like you have no one to talk to or just find it easier to talk to someone you don't know, feel free to message me on any social media you can find me on. I've also listed some charities below that could help (I have linked these to the contact pages, which have details for emails, texts, live chats and/or phone lines that you can contact if you need to).

• Anxiety UK - for people who struggle with anxiety disorders.
• BEAT - for people who struggle with eating disorders.
• Bipolar UK - for people who struggle with bipolar disorder.
• CALM - for men who struggle with mental illnesses.
• Mind - for anyone who struggles with a mental health problem. click this link for immediate advice.
• No Panic - for people who struggle with anxiety and/or panic attacks or disorders.
• OCD Action - for people who struggle with OCD.
• Papyrus - for young people who are considering suicide.
• Rethink - for people who struggle with mental illness.
• Samaritans - for free, 24 hour support via phone, post or email.
• Students Against Depression - advice for students who struggle with suicidal thoughts.
• SANE - for anyone who struggles with a mental health problem. they are building a community called Young SANE which focuses on people aged 18-25.